There are many self-help books and groups available nowadays that are specifically designed and aimed at helping people whose struggles with low levels of self-confidence and self esteem negatively impact their every day life. This article aims to look at the key components to self esteem and examine the skills and tools used to increase levels of self esteem. Below is a list of four main aspects to be explored.
- What is self esteem?
- Causes of low self esteem
- Maintenance factors
- Overcoming low self esteem
What is Self Esteem? Overview
Self esteem may be simply defined as how a person values him or herself. It primarily involves how a person feels about themselves relating to what they feel they are worth. Also, it's important to understand and remember the fact that every person on this earth is born with the same amount of self-worth; it's as we grow and develop that our sense of self-worth either increases or decreases.
Each person has worth and this is completely independent of how others value you or not.
Low Self Esteem: Causes
There are many different factors and reasons why some individuals go on to develop low self esteem issues. A common factor is related to a person's upbringing; for example if one was heavily criticised at home and rarely praised it would stand to reason that they would lack a sense of self-worth as a result. Often adults with low self-esteem problems were bullied as children and thus found it hard to fit in and make close friendships. Relationship problems, abuse, addiction, depression and a whole host of both mental and physical illness can have negative impacts on our self-esteem.
Which Factors Maintain Low Self Esteem?
It's important to understand that what actually initially contributes to a person's low self esteem is not usually the factor that keeps it going or 'maintenance factor.' There are a few key patterns of thinking and behaving that may maintain low levels of self esteem including: refusing to take personal responsibility (constantly blaming others) for our feelings, over personalisation (constantly feeling got at) and requiring approval from others to 'make you happy.'
How to Improve Self Esteem Using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Self esteem can be improved by learning a whole host of different skills and tools, CBT is currently a very widely used therapeutic approach to treatment. Thinking in a positive, upbeat, optimistic way has been proven to increase self esteem as is learning to say 'No' to things you really don't want to do. Listing your strengths and achievements and keeping them handy to read often also helps as well as writing a positive events log. This involves writing down one thing you felt went well each night and gradually you will build up an extensive log of positive experiences/events.
Another key area is to start recognising your common thinking errors such as black and white thinking, catastrophizing or overpersonalising and begin challenging them by writing them down using thought records.
To conclude, low self-esteem is a very common problem and as explored above there are many simple skills that can be mastered to increase one's level of self-confidence and self-worth. How about doing some research online or planning a visit to your local library for further self-help tools and worksheets to learn more about ways to boost self esteem.
Source:
Wilding, C. & Milne, A. (2008) Teach Yourself CBT London: Hodder Education
Further Reading
How Can I Overcome Perfectionism?
Foods to Help Fight Depression and Boost Mood
Kate Le Page - Kate Henning-Le Page writes about eating disorders, body image and recovery issues. She specializes in anorexia recovery.
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