As any parent knows only too well, the manner in which a person was raised or parented can often play a large part in how he or she chooses to parent a child. This is where the common fear of turning into one's parent comes into play.
There are three main categories of parenting styles, which include permissive, authoritarian or authoritative, although it is quite common for one parent to be permissive and the other to be authoritarian, often contributing to much tension within the family dynamics.
Parenting Styles – Characteristics of Permissive Parents
Most people will be able to identify those friends or parents of friends who fit into the permissive parenting category. Although it is often a case of horses for courses, while permissive parenting will likely help some children gain independence, others who are less confident may struggle to cope with the lack of appropriate boundaries in such a set-up.
As identified by Arthur Lavin and Susan Glaser in Baby & Toddler Sleep Solutions for Dummies (John Wiley and Sons, 2007), key characteristics associated with the permissive style of parenting, include the following:
- Avoid punishing the child.
- Avoid inhibiting impulses or desires.
- Avoid inhibiting actions.
- Few house rules.
- Few demands relating to chores.
- Child regulates own activities.
- Resources rather than role-models.
- Reason with child but rarely apply parent power.
What is Authoritarian Parenting?
Another style of parenting, known as authoritarian parenting, is pretty much at the completely opposite end of the spectrum to permissive parenting. This style of parenting has been identified as the "drill sergeant" approach to raising children. Again, this style may be perfect for some siblings and not for others, as it largely depends on the child's personality and confidence.
Lavin and Glaser explain characteristics of authoritarian parenting as follows:
- Value placed on obedience.
- Value placed on manners.
- Value placed on running a tight ship.
- Strict schedules.
- Weekly chore assignments.
- Little room for negotiation about clothes/food/activities.
- Rather inflexible approach to life.
Understanding Authoritative Parenting
The third style of parenting is probably the most balance approach to raising children as it sits somewhere in the middle of permissive and authoritarian parenting styles. In an ideal world, this would likely be the most favoured method of parenting from both sides of the coin.
There are several key aspects associated with the authoritative approach to parenting, identified by Lavin and Glaser to include the following:
- Gentle bosses.
- Guidance and direction.
- Value child's thoughts and wishes.
- Welcome discussions and sharing ideas.
- Firm when conflict resolution necessary.
- Balance between relaxed and firm rein approach.
As highlighted above, parenting styles may include, permissive, authoritarian and authoritative approaches. While each style differs in some ways, establishing routine is recognised as being key to helping children feel safe and secure, being particularly important in areas such as bedtime and napping times.
Source:
Lavin, A. & Glaser, S. Baby & Toddler Sleep Solutions For Dummies. Chichester: John Wiley & Sons, 2007.
Kate Le Page - Kate Henning-Le Page writes about eating disorders, body image and recovery issues. She specializes in anorexia recovery.
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